By Kate Smailes, Managing Partner, Havas Blvd and Chief Client Officer Havas Australia
As I sit here on my second Mother’s Day, my first as a full time working mum, cuddling my twins, I find myself reflecting on the last five years and how I got to where I am today and how I am incredibly grateful for so much.
My husband and my journey to parenthood was not smooth. Four years, six pregnancies, 13 surgeries, five rounds of IVF, endless amounts of medication and injections- we finally met our miracle twin girls in September 2023, and we couldn’t be happier, our family was complete!
Everything we went through takes a huge toll, physically, emotionally and financially. Add in high pressure jobs, where both of us travel a lot, it could have all been too much.
I write this story today as the more I speak to clients, colleagues and friends, the more I realise how common fertility issues are and how lonely the time can be without a wide range of support – this is for both females and males. Both go through the emotional toll of fertility issues and should be supported.
Personally, as a female who had dedicated over 15 years to my career before starting to try for a family, there was naturally concern that work would not be supportive of my family plans, particularly when they could take a while to come true.
Concerns that my career would stall during this time and concerns that work would not be supportive of the time I needed to face all the challenges we came up against. I was so wrong…my work village stepped in and gave me the support I needed to be able to do it all – chase the family dream while continuing to move forward in my career, and more importantly they understood the challenges I was facing and not only supported me, but everyone else who would face what I was facing.
“My work village stepped in and gave me the support I needed to be able to do it all- chase the family dream while continuing to move forward in my career”
In late 2020, after our 3rd miscarriage and on the edge of starting IVF during COVID lockdowns, our HR director spoke a lot to me about what I was going through and what could help to relieve some of the emotional stress we were facing, these conversations led to new industry leading policies across the Group, and I am thankful that my situation led to positive change for colleagues facing this in the future.
The care, compassion and love that came to my husband Dan and I from my teams across the village, our senior leadership and my clients during this time was overwhelming. At no point did I feel like my job was at risk or that I was being treated differently in my career due to my family aspirations, or the time it was taking to achieve them. In many ways I felt the opposite.
A lot of expecting parents still believe in not sharing pregnancy news until the second trimester, however with one in four pregnancies ending in miscarriage, it can become a very lonely place very quickly. I am so grateful to have had family, friends as well as my workplace beside me during our five miscarriages.
Once our beautiful girls arrived in September 2023, I took 13 months of maternity leave. Wow – what an adjustment! I went from a full time, intensive job, to being at home with two tiny humans…. I stayed in touch with the team and clients during this time, which allowed me to feel connected with this part of my village. Knowing that I was still valued in the workplace was amazing for my mindset at the time.
When it came time to return to work, the concerns naturally crept back in – would the team welcome me back, would the clients welcome a change to their accounts again, would work allow me to shift my hours slightly to fit around child care? I shouldn’t have had any concerns – The teams and clients celebrated my return, and everyone supported my new ways of working, a small shift in time in the office, which allows me to be home to give my babies a cuddle and tuck them into bed for the night.
Everyone says the time goes so quickly and to make the most of this time while they are so little, I am so grateful that my employer feels this as well and encourages me to spend the time with our miracle babies.
I hope that by sharing my story, others in similar situations find some strength to let people in – family, friends and work. We spend so much of our time at work, when you desperately want something and it is not happening, it really helps to share your feelings. To employees -trust me that if your employers feel supported, you will be getting a lot more out of them than if they are suffering in silence. I will be forever grateful to work for supporting us through a very difficult time.
For anyone on a fertility journey – it is long, it is tough, but the end result is worth every tear and heartache.
Our fertility Doctor quoted John Lennon on our first meeting, fitting as my husband works in the music industry: ‘Everything will be ok in the end, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end”. This got me through some dark days. Whatever the end looks like for you – make sure you have a village around you – family, friends, colleagues and a supportive employer, it is invaluable!
Originally published in Mediaweek.
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HAVAS Red
